Famous Quotes about Funny

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“A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.”

Groucho Marx

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“A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself.”

Josh Billings

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“A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.”

George Bernard Shaw

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“A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.”

Groucho Marx

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“A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.”

Bob Hope

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“A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers.”

H. L. Mencken

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“Advertisements contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper.”

Mark Twain

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“Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.”

Groucho Marx

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“All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.”

Casey Stengel

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“Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.”

Bill Cosby

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“Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid.”

Hedy Lamarr

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“Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.”

Groucho Marx

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“As I get older, I just prefer to knit.”

Tracey Ullman

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“Be able to go shopping for a bathing suit and not become depressed afterward.”

Marilyn vos Savant

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“Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.”

Mae West

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“California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange.”

Fred Allen

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“Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.”

Steven Wright

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“Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.”

Steven Wright

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“Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.”

Robert Benchley

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“Electricity is really just organized lightning.”

George Carlin

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